July 31, 2008

Wonderful Stuff From J.Crew

I've been browsing the J.Crew online store the whole evening, and the general conclusion is that I would like to buy more or less everything! Honestly, I think that, if someone gave me enough money to get everything I want from that place, I'd never have to shop for clothes or shoes for the rest of my life! Well, okay, I'm exaggerating a bit... How would I live if I knew I'd never be allowed to buy another pair of shoes for the rest of my life? But you know what I mean...
Since there are SO MANY absolutely impeccable pieces available at J.Crew, I'm going to have to break my finds into sections. So, let's start!

Coats And Jackets

Double-cloth lady day coat in royal violet, $330.00.

Bouclé mohair Lucille jacket , $285.00. This color is called "spicy mustard", but of course, it's chartreuse, which is one of my favorite colors. There's a lovely version in orange as well.

Soirée jacket , $250.00. I love the cute, slightly retro design of this jacket!


Cotton-silk lawn twisted-placket shirt, $68.00. Now, this shirt has a twisted placket designed to keep the collar open at a perfect angle at all times! How cool is that?!

Whisper lamé tank , $98.00. Just look at that beautiful gold sheen.


Fleur patterned peep-toe heels in a gorgeous deep Atlantic color scheme, $228.00.

Lulu leather peep toes , $198.00. I like the unconventional pink/red combo, but for those of you who don't, there are plenty others.

Perfect patent-leather pumps, $185.00.

Fleur suede peep-toe heels , $195.00.


Antiqued-gold sequin dress , $595.00. This dress is a bit on the expensive side, I admit, but I think it looks the price.

Julianne Dress, $148.00. Just so you know, this color is called "bright rhubarb". I'd choose it over any LBD.

Super 120s dress, $180.00. The cut of this dress looks universally flattering and the color is magnificent (although it's available in other, more boring colors as well).


Andie bag, $495.00. This patent leather autumn bag comes in black too.

Italian patent-leather Sonia clutch , $98.00.

Chiffon rosette belt, $38.00. This corsage belt might be a bit over the top for some, but I think it's very pretty and feminine. Apart from this one, there are three other color combos.

Crystal spangle cuff bracelet, $150.00. I've been obsessed with cuffs lately, and they're definitely one of my favorite trends this year!

July 28, 2008

Kim Kardashian At The Big Mac 40th Birthday Party

Alas, Kim could have looked lovely here, if it weren't for her forgetfulness! Apparently, she forgot to put her top on and turned up in her bikini/bra. Now Kim, next time you're invited to an event. please set the following reminder: GET DRESSED!

Jodie Marsh In American Apparel Leggings (And Not Much Else)

You remember how I wondered who actually shops at American Apparel? Well, surprise, surprise! It's the fashion queen - Jodie Marsh! Don't you just love her entire outfit? *runs off to vomit*

July 27, 2008

Zebra Madness

As I think I've already mentioned, I love me some animal print! Of course, animal print is a tricky thing: you have to be very, very careful, otherwise you can easily end up looking like:
a) a time-traveler from the 80s


b) a prostitute.

It's best to keep it simple and never have more than one animal print item on at a time.
Now, if you agree with my views and you'd like to add some stylish animal print pieces to your wardrobe, I've come across some wonderful zebra print shoes at Moda In Pelle (called Cariah, and available for £85.00/$170.00), and a beautiful Michael Kors oversized clutch ($198.00).

July 25, 2008

Dr. Scholl's Dance 2 Mule

Well, Dr. Scholl obviously doesn't go dancing much, 'cause not often do you get a chance to see a pair of shoes that evoke dancing less than these... I can just imagine some unfortunate, delusional Dr. Scholl aficionado turning up at a club wearing these mules, then wondering why people are edging slowly away from her so that now she's the only one left on the dance floor.
I'm sure there are plenty other names beginning with "D", that would be far more suitable than "Dance Mules". How about "Damn Ugly Mules"?
Also, why does a pair of mules have a faux fur insole? When is it ever going to be warm enough for mules, but still rather chilly on the soles of your feet??

Amanda Peet At Late Show And X-Files 2 Premiere

What's with Amanda Peet's dresses?? The two pictures were taken only a few days apart, and in both she seems like she's wearing a strange life form. While that may be in the spirit of the new X-Files movie (which I can't wait to see), I think she had no reason for obscuring her wonderful figure like that. I'm getting slightly put off by the ubiquitous ruffle trend, and the feather skirt is not the most flattering style ever invented either. However, Anne Hathaway wore something similarly feathery a few weeks ago and I remember everyone hailed her as the new queen of style. So I might be wrong about Amanda. What do you think?

July 22, 2008

Maggie Gyllenhaal At The Dark Knight London Premiere

Now, I can tell you, I'm not a fan of Maggie Gyllenhaal's style. I know a lot of people think she can do no wrong (movie and style-wise), but I happen to think she has a knack for picking out the most unflattering outfits possible. This time it's no different... Not only has she chosen a jumpsuit (instinctively makes me skeptical), she's chosen a shapeless, silk jumpsuit which makes her look like she has no waist. It's also rather low cut and makes her crotch and breasts look disturbingly close to each other. Finally, can you see her feet anywhere? I rest my case.

July 20, 2008

Stripper Clothes

Sandy over at Wit's Bitch has unearthed some rather hideous stripper shoes, and I've found just the right dress to go with them! The Miss Selfridge Gold Foil One Shoulder Dress - every sex worker's must-have item - has been reduced from £35.00 to £12.00. So, if you're feeling a bit like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, you know where to get the appropriate costume.

Unappetizing Jeans At American Apparel

My views on clothes from American Apparel are quite simple and pretty much boil down to "I wouldn't be caught dead in any of that stuff". I don't know why I visited their online shop... It's one of those bizarre compulsions, like when you see something gross, and you really don't want to look, but you just have to...
It never occurred to me though to check out their male section, until, while admiring some of the ugliest jeans I've ever seen, I noticed a tiny link that said "View a man in this unisex style". Oh, what a mistake...
Really... Honestly... Have you ever seen anything as unattractive as this?? I'm more or less certain that just looking at this picture for longer than 30 seconds is enough to turn any woman into a lesbian... AND, I'm quite sure these jeans have special powers: they grant the wearer celibacy for life!
Click on the picture to get a bigger view. Though maybe it would be smarter not to...

July 18, 2008

And Some More Alexander McQueen: Peacock Jacquard Dress

...Because, really, what every woman dreams of is paying $7,980.00 for a dress that'll make her hips look even bigger than they already are...

Alexander McQueen Sequin Leggings

I'm not sure whether I like these Alexander McQueen leggings or not... I guess that if I'd seen them when I was 17, I would've fallen head over heels for them.
But let's stop for a second and just ponder this question: how much do you usually pay for leggings? Say £15/$30? How about $2,345.00?? For a pair of leggings??? I'm speechless. If you want to see for yourself, here's the link.

July 17, 2008

Shoe Frenzy: Carvela Platform Sandals

I've noticed that my Shoe Frenzy feature seems to contain ONLY shoes I absolutely can't afford, so I've decided to change that with these Carvela platforms, which can be found at Asos for £85.00. Okay, that's still not an absolute bargain, but it's acceptable and no longer falls under the fantasy category. I love the orange and black contrast and the retro design, and, yeah, you've guessed it: the 14cm/4.5in heel!

July 15, 2008

Mila Kunis At The VH1 Rock Honors

Doesn't Mila Kunis look nice! I love her 60's style dress and the simple shoes. The soft waves in her hair complement the retro look nicely. The make-up might be a tad too strong, but all in all, I'm impressed!

July 13, 2008

Marc Jacobs Ballet Flats

I honestly don't know what Marc Jacobs was thinking when he designed his rubber ballet flats... Maybe something along the lines of: "Hmm, what could be an attractive, yet comfortable look for this summer? Well, nothing screams 'summer' more than sticky, sweaty, smelly, red feet encased in a pair of see-through rubber shoes!"

Shoe Frenzy: Nina Ricci Metallic Peep-Toe Pump

I've noticed that I'm developing a mania for super-high heels. These particular beauties are a whopping 4.5 inches/12 cm! With feet as small as mine, I'm not sure it would be physically possible to walk in 12 cm heels, but I'd be willing to give it a try... If I had $735 to spend on shoes... If anyone wants to support my little experiment and get them for me, they're available at eLuxury.

July 12, 2008

Karen Millen - Not All That Cute

I give you the dark side of Karen Millen!

1) Metallic Party Dress, this is called. Yeah? What kind of a party would that be? One back in 1983? Molly Ringwald's prom? Cindy Lauper's gig?

2) This Fringed Suede Jacket has been reduced from £350 to £175 - I wonder why? People nowadays not so keen on the Davy Crockett look, eh?

July 8, 2008

Wanted: Pretty Things By Karen Millen

I browsed the Karen Millen website today, just so you don't have to! How nice of me, huh?
Here's what I found:

1. Elegant Satin Dress, reduced from £160 to £110. Still not a bargain, but it certainly is lovely, and very feminine, and I imagine the cut is very flattering.

2. Animal print is my fashion guilty pleasure, so, naturally, I love this zebra print shirt (£89.95). And aren't the little ruffles on the sleeves cute?

3. These cork peep platforms are the perfect shoes for this season: summery, with a trendy floral print and the sexy ankle strap.

Madonna's Channeling Rocky

... only she's a girl, so she's sewn some lace on the hems of her shorts...

Tina Turner's Unfortunate Choice

Tell me Tina Turner is not wearing a harem-pant playsuit... Tina, you see, first you've got to understand that harem pants are... well, just plain ugly (damn you, MC Hammer!)... And second? Well, A LOT of people are sort of reminded of a full nappy when they see harem pants... And does a 68-year-old woman need to wear anything that puts her in the same sentence with nappies? No!
Too bad, the fabric is real nice, it could've been a very pretty dress.

The Dirndl Skirt From Marni

Yeah, I know... You're thinking "What the hell is a dirndl skirt??". I think you'd be better off left in ignorance, but, if you insist... Here it is:

I told you you'd rather not know!
Anyway, it's apparently a full skirt wit a tailored waist, inspired by some sort of a German peasant skirt. AND, it's supposed to be the next big trend. God help us all!
By the way, this particular one is from Marni's Fall 2008 collection. I'm usually not a fan of Marni, but this time they've outdone themselves... A mad-patterned, brain-scorchingly ugly shirt, a sheer dirndl skirt (I keep wanting to say dreidel skirt), and those ugly-ass socks!
Honestly... Take another look and tell me you don't wanna gouge your eyes out...

July 4, 2008

Pick of the Day From Office Shoes

My eyes are still sore from staring at the Agyness-style grandpa shoes, so I've decided to feature some nice shoes from Office to help us all forget the previous post.
Let's start with some cute red flats, both pairs on sale, for £15.00 and £10.00 respectively:

And then there are the beautiful emerald green satin courts (£55.00), and for those of you who like the nautical trend, I give you the blue and white platforms (£70.00):

Here are the links:
Bow spot pumps
Ruche satin pumps
Green satin courts
Blue/white platforms

Look What I've Found!

It's Agyness Deyn's favorite shoes! All we need now is a pair of bright red socks, and we too can be called "quirky", "fresh" and "unique". Or "batsh*t crazy". Depending on the viewpoint...
These are £55.00 at Office.

July 1, 2008

Rihanna - Disturbia

You know Rihanna's song Disturbia? Well, I think it must've been written about this outfit! Seriously, what else could explain this but - as Rihanna put it - "A disease of the mind"? She is wearing stripy romper culottes, for heaven's sake! I don't know who designed this, but they should be locked up in a safe place, with no pencil, paper, needle, thread or fabric of any kind! I'm not sure about the shoes either (oh, I am sure they're horrible, just not who designed them), but they reek of Balenciaga. The phrase "good girl gone bad" suddenly takes on a whole new meaning!

Meryl Streep At The Mamma Mia Premiere

I must admit I've always been suspicious of Meryl Streep's style - sometimes she really abuses her artistic license when it comes to clothes. However, I was swept off my feet when I saw this beautiful, daring red dress, paired with simple, black Louboutin peep toes! The classic cut of the dress balances out the audacity of the colour, and the black of the belt and shoes adds a bit of contrast. She has managed to look fresh and original, and I don't mean that as a euphemism!

Selma Blair At Hellboy II Premiere

Selma Blair attended the Hellboy II premiere wearing this year's ubiquitous jumpsuit. I must say I just can't make up my mind about jumpsuits - if you're very, very careful, you might be able to pull it off, but I haven't seen that many successful outfits featuring this item. Not to mention the impracticality of it - what if you have to go to the toilet??
But let's go back to Selma... Actually, her jumpsuit is quite pretty and sexy (okay, maybe just a bit sleazy). I'll be generous, so I won't discuss how much tit tape she must have used to prevent accidents...
So what bothers me here is the perennial wide-leg problem: where the hell are her feet?? Isn't it awkward when people wear trousers so long and wide, that they render them feetless? It also makes shoe shopping completely pointless. What are you hiding, Selma? You're not wearing crocs, are you?

June 30, 2008

Brilliant Post Over At Wit's Bitch

Are you sick and tired of the sex confusion in the recent years? Are you baffled by boys who dress like girls and end up looking like neither? Well, if you are, Sandy from Wit's Bitch has a hilarious post about the feminization of men. If you're not, go check it out anyway! You'll laugh your head off!

June 28, 2008

Nicole Scherzinger At Nelson Mandela Birthday Concert

What with her dark glasses, all black outfit, and most of all - that tasteless lace shirt, Nicole looks as if she were attending Nelson Mandela' funeral (heaven forbid!), not his birthday party! And even if that were the case, we're all sure she has very nice breasts, she doesn't have to put them on display like that. Seriously, she's beautiful, she's got a great body, all she needs now is a bit of taste!

Vanessa Paradis For Miu Miu

Vanessa Paradis (French musician and Johnny Depp's partner) has replaced Kirsten Dunst as the new face of Miu Miu. This is the first available photo from the campaign. What do you think? I must say I'm not too thrilled. It just doesn't seem too original, and poor Vanessa is dressed like she's going scuba-diving. The bag is also a bit awkward, but the makeup is pretty, although not quite wearable in real life.

Beyonce Stuck In The 80s

Oh no, no, no! Beyonce, we do know your body is "bootylicious", but women as curvy as you should never ever wear tight stretchy dresses as this one. Now I come to think of it, no one, whatever body type they have, should wear this particular dress. Why? Um, well, because it's ugly and it should have stayed back in the 80s where it belongs.

June 26, 2008

The Diesel Scubaboot

Now I don't know what I find more outrageous: the ugliness of these boots, or the fact that they used to cost £95 (now on sale for £58). What on earth would you wear these with, unless if there were an outbreak of a deadly virus - then they would go just perfectly with your protective suit! Or perhaps if you worked in a stable...
So, if you happen to live in a swamp or have farm animals to take care of, hurry and snatch your pair here!